Time passes so quickly...

Almost 1 year ago today I posted this at my Spark home.  Amazing how a year has passed, I still feel these words with every molecule of my being yet I have done nothing to change...until now.

I have come to realize that no amount of time can pass to soothe my aching heart. From the day of her diagnosis until this very moment I can not think about my Momma without tears. The overwhelming sadness continually threatens to drown my existence. 

I know I have to find a way to push through my days. I know that I have to dig deep and live. I just seem to have forgotten how. 

I haven't been here in a very long time. Below is a comment I left 13 days after my Momma found her peace...and 18 months after I lost mine. 


** This page belongs to my beautiful Momma who lost her battle with cancer on Sept 15th 2012. I look back at her blogs here and realize the problems she was having with running were directly related to her un-diagnosis disease. 

It seems like only last week that we set out to get healthy, and now as I face my life each day without my Mom and my friend...it all just seems so unimportant. 

I hope that somehow I can find an ounce of the strength you exhibited every day in your fight...to push me over my personal health hurdles. 

I miss you...every second of every minute of every day. ** 

As I logged my dinner this evening, I was way worried that my day of freedom from counting calories was going to be a setback.  Although way more came from carbs then I like (Thank you Lovie for the mini holiday cupcakes), I still came in under budget.  I know things will get tougher the more I lose, because face it, being my size allows me to burn calories breathing.   I exercised yesterday, so today was yard fun activity.

Work this week and then I get a staycation. Looking forward to it for real!