Punishment outweighs the crime..

02.17.06 (12:54 am)  
Where to start with this mess in my head.
Part of me is furious,part of me is in shock, part of me is thankful and yet another part of me is sad. That's a lot of parts to be in one place.
The Crime: Saying "This fuckin sucks" to an assistant coach.
The Punishment: 14 days suspension from the team. At the conclusion of the 14 days if you choose to return to the team, there must be an apology to all and that apology must be acceptable in the eyes of the head coach. If the apology is not acceptable or you choose not to apologize and leave the team, you will be blacklisted from joining any other team within your current club.
The Lesson to be Learned: You are responsible for your own actions.
Events that lead to the crime:Saturday afternoon game. 5 minutes into this game, the score is 0-2 and not in your teams favor. You play offense, your objective is to get the ball and score points for your team. You had no part in the resulting 2 goals scored against your team. Yet for some reason, your team mates, who you consider your friends on and off the field, are yelling at you. Not so nice things either. Parents on the sidelines are yelling not so nice things as well. Now your ever so UN-wise mom has talked to you at great lengths about how you can't yell back at your team mates. How you have to stand there and take it and give nothing back. Because once you stoop to their level, you are no better then they are. You must shut off your passion, your feelings, the very things that drive you to be so damn great at this game you love. Just take it, at the age of 12. Not understanding why your friends would be mean to you like this. Why other parents who normally treat you as their own would criticize you in front of God and everyone. But yet you stand there and say nothing. Trying to play your game. Trying to hold back the tears that burn your eyes, because you are a boy. A boy placed into an ugly situation and expected to not react. The words hurt worse then a fist in the gut. At the first subbing opportunity, who gets pulled? The kid yelling at his team mates? Nope. The keeper who has been yelling at the ref? Nope. The kid who doesn't work hard even when things are going well? Nope. You get pulled. And as your walking off the field with your head down, your best friend says to you "If she is pulling you, I am not even going to try, because your the only one who can make us win." As you approach the sideline, the assistant coach says something to you, you mumble, "this fuckin sucks" to which the coach then screams at you to sit on the bench that you are done for the rest of the game.
Upon hearing this, the ever UN-wise mom makes her way to the sidelines. Tells you to grab your bag we are gone. She is sick of watching you take this abuse. She is sick of keeping her mouth shut, doing the "right" thing and not sticking up for her boy.
Head down, you walk with her in silence. You know she is there to support you. You know she at least kinda understands. But your loyalty to the team takes over. You tell your mom that you can't leave your team like that. You bravely turn around and walk back. You apologize to the coach, who then makes you apologize to the team. Not understanding totally why, you do it anyway.
Who was wrong in all this? I currently think it is mom. For not pulling the plug sooner. For thinking that asking her son to turn into a robot to take the continual abuse was the right thing. It is obvious why you are so hard on yourself. Why you take every loss as your own personal failure. Is it any wonder? The world around you has basically helped you climb that ladder whether you wanted to jump or not.
After 3 years the coach has decided to put a foot down. And you are being used as the example. Will you suffer? I know you will miss attending practice. I know your disappointed about missing Region Cup competition. But you will pass the time fishing, swimming and playing pool with your neighborhood friends. You will be free of your responsibilities that you take so seriously.
The team will suffer. The other boys will learn the lesson thru your consequences. Maybe this is the start of your coach not tolerating the behavior anymore from anyone. He said they of course hope you decide to rejoin the team. To which your mom replied that if that is to happen things will have to change all around. Coach agreed. Mom will not willingly place you back into that situation. It has progressively gotten worse in the 3 years you have been involved. Mom wanted to pull you, but felt it wasn't fair to the team to do so right before the biggest tournament of the year. We were going to finish out the commitment and re-evaluate before joining next year. Apparently it wasn't such a big deal so it seems.
I can just imagine the drama this will create. Your best buddy already wants to quit because you got suspended. I doubt his mom will allow that.
Will the forces that spurred your outburst get a hint?? Ha not likely. No amount of talking in 3 years has changed that. A Leopard doesn't lose his spots.
Should there have been consequences for your comment? Yep. It didn't hurt anyone, wasn't directed to hurt anyone, but that doesn't make it right. You are responsible for your own actions, no matter the catalyst.
Do I feel the punishment out weighs the crime?? Yepper. But I think the punishment will be felt more on those not dunkin a worm in the pond next weekend. For that I am thankful.

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