No one said there would be days like this

05.20.05 (9:17 am)   [edit] 

Mood: Dazed and Confused

There is no manual, ebook, Dr. Spock or encyclopedia that prepares a parent for a day like I had today. If things like this were documented in writing, I assure you we could file it under birth control and it would be more effective then condoms or The Sponge.

Now I know some people are going to read this and roll their eyes at how insignificant it is in comparison to global warming, pollution and terrorism. Have no fear, I know this already!

It doesn't change my current state of being confused and flaborgasted by the continual behavior of my brilliantly intelligent teenage (13) daughter.

She attends an A+ school that has rigid rules to keep control of the raging hormones and swinging emotions of middle school youth. They recieve a "book signing" for things like chewing gum, tardy, not having a pencil etc... After 6 such book signings in one grading period you get a referral. A referral results in a day of ISS (in school suspension) After the first referral, the 2nd results in 2 days of EA (Enhanced Assist- off site school suspension) Pretty straight forward descipline plan and probably effective for most kids.

For some lame-brain reason, my kid just hasn't gotten it. Yesterday I got the dreaded mid-day phone call from the Dean, explaining the whole process and informing me that my brilliantly intelligent daughter would be recieving EA, on the last day of school!! Here is her list of offenses:

Applying lip goss during a movie

Not having a sharpened pencil upon entering class

Talking out without raising hand

Chewing gum

laughing while other children were being disruptive

Tardy

This is her 2nd set of 6 book signings, so off to EA she goes. As a parent I am torn between reactions.
The first set being that I can't believe she continues to do this petty crap when she knows the consequences. The second being that it seems like awefuly harsh punishment for such petty offenses. (Even though I understand the motivation behind it) Like sending someone to jail for the day for parking tickets.

Then we factor in, What should my reaction be at home? Do I ground her for this behavior on top of her school consequences? Do I let the sentence from school be enough punishment? Missing the last day of school is like being the party coordinator, doing all the work and then not getting to attend.

I have always been the type to follow the "Pick your battles" theory of parenting. As we approach the depths of teenage existance, if I ground her for this type of behavior, what will I have to do when she makes a big boo-boo? Like skipping school, or smoking and drinking. Lock her in the cellar??

It is just so hard to know what to do and when to do it.
At some point I guess it becomes about following your instincts.