Cheap Therapy

Made some recent adjustments in my life.  Out of necessity.  I don't want to go into detail yet.  I am still too flabbergasted over the entire situation.  I will say that this situation has been life altering.  I have had to remove people from my inner circle and re-evaluate the people in my circle.  

I have cried daily, lost sleep and pretty much been a despondent seething bitch.  I have hate in me.  An emotion that I have saved for alarm clocks and terrorists.  Now I have it for the actions of someone I love.  How screwed up is THAT?  

I have changed my e-mail.  Deleted people from my Facebook.  Cancelled a much awaited vacation.  I am questioning my entire existence on this universe. I am picking over every relationship I hold near and dear.  All while scratching my head.

I said yesterday that it is like I was crossing the street in a cross-walk and got hit by a silent invisible car.  Not a damn thing I can do about it now except try to make the best of what parts of me can be scrapped off the pavement.

      I hate:

• What you did to us.
• What you did to our family.
• I gave you this kind of power.
• I trusted you.
• being your excuse.
• knowing that when you figure it out, it will be too late.
• that it already is.

Cheap therapy.  All I can afford.